Rebroadcast | Intentional Time Off with Brandie Mitchell RN, NC-BC

Annie: I'm Annie.

Leah: And I'm Leah.

Annie: And this is Lactation Business Coaching with Annie and Leah, where we talk about the smart way to create a compassionate and professional private practice.

Leah: Let's dive in.

Annie: Well, hey there, Leah.

Leah: Hey, Annie, how are you doing?

Annie: I'm great. How are you?

Leah: I'm doing really well. I'm excited to have a good friend of mine and somebody that I really just love to hear more from. Brandi Mitchell is on today and is going to help us take care of ourselves, which we need these reminders all the time as busy entrepreneurs and private practice LCs. I love having this discussion because it reinvigorates me to do the work.

Annie: Totally. I'm excited too, because we first got to meet her. I mean, you've known her for a while, but I first got to meet Brandie last summer when she was a guest for one of our Lactation Business Coaching Deeper Dives. And she did a whole hour with us on self-care and it was so great. And that's in our Lactation Business Coaching Deeper Dive Vault, and you can learn how to access that at https://learn.anniefrisbie.com/lactationbusinesscoaching.

Leah: Yeah. That was such an amazing session. I left that session with ... we did the work in the session, which was so cool cause I left with tangible things that I could work on right then and on a piece of paper, literally in front of me. It was so neat to get to do that work and do it all together with another group. You should definitely go check that out if you weren't able to be there live. It's just as good recorded because you can go through it with us and hear the steps that everybody was taking. But Annie, tell us a little bit more about Brandie for those who might not know about Brandie.

Annie: Yeah. So Brandie Mitchell is a Board Certified Nurse Coach specializing in holistic, personalized health coaching for women who are ready to reclaim their health from autoimmune disease, anxiety, depression, pain, insomnia, and fatigue. Additionally, she supports women during pregnancy and postpartum for healthy and empowered transition into motherhood. Brandie partners with women and families to empower you to take ownership of your health, overcome anxiety and overwhelm, and move from where you are to where you want to be in your body, health and life. And you're going to make that happen for me and Leah over the course of the next couple, 20 or 25 minutes or so? Is that what I'm expecting, a complete and total transformation cause I'm here for it?

Brandie: Yeah. I'm here for it too. Let's see what we can get accomplished.

Leah: Welcome, Brandie. We're so excited to have you on again and thank you so much for spending this time with us today.

Brandie: Absolutely. I love chatting with you ladies and love talking about what we're going to talk about today, so I'm excited.

Leah: Yes. And I know you wanted to bring us something when we talked about the subject, you were like, Leah, you're not going to want to hear this. And I'm like, Oh, she knows me so well, because you wanted to talk about rest, which is the thing I don't want to talk about because I don't want to admit that I need to rest. I want to go, go, go and get it all done and do all the things cause that's fun. But I'm learning more and more through Brandie's guidance that that leads to burnout. So tell us, why is rest such a big topic for you, Brandie? Because I know you want to talk about it a lot. So why is this coming up for you? Why are you talking about it?

Brandie: Yeah, well I think we teach the things that we need to learn, right? So I am not by any means an expert in always building in the time to rest that I need to do. It's an ongoing learning process. So that's why I'm excited because I know I have experienced so much benefit in my life and my health, in my business even by intentionally building in rest, specifically through practicing something that I call cyclical living. So that's also what I'm really excited to chat with you ladies about because it's something that we have a growing awareness of it, that life is not this linear experience. We circle back to things and we use this language of coming back around and we live in a world where there are seasons. And so there are principles that can guide us in a different way of living our lives that is actually so much more sustainable and so much more life-giving than what a lot of us were modeled, especially those of us that are in business. And the fact that we're women and we have these bodies that have their own internal cyclical clock, then there's a whole other thing that we can lean into to guide us in this kind of different rhythm for life and for business. So I'm by no means presenting myself as having mastered this fully, but I think I've been practicing it for long enough, for two or three years, to see that oh, wow. There really is something to this and it really does work well when I remember to practice and live this way.

Annie: That's so interesting kind of connecting all of those pieces together. I'm definitely somebody, if you asked me what my favorite kind of self-care is, it would be like, Oh, it's tackling items on my to-do list while I binge watch Real Housewives. But note that I'm not resting and binge-watching Real Housewives. I'm watching this television that I do find extremely soothing and relaxing while I do other things and I'm calling that self-care or I will be like, why would I take a nap when I have a book I want to read. Naps are a supreme waste of time. I know that is a very controversial opinion, but I'm willing to just throw that out there. And I'm also willing to be told I'm wrong about it though. I take maybe two naps a year. So tell us a little bit more about what's wrong with my mindset around rest.

Brandie: That's so funny, Annie. It makes me think of my struggle in the postpartum time. I have two girls. My oldest is almost nine this summer and my youngest is five. And you know, I was always like, I'm not a napper. I love to drink my coffee in the morning and I love to go, go, go and who has time to nap? So I really get it and I love that we're talking about this because let's define. Rest is not equivalent to napping. You know, you don't have to go to sleep in order to rest. And so I don't know that there's anything wrong with your mindset. I would get curious around what does rest look like to you? What would you like it to look like? What feels really good and rejuvenating to you? And I love that you mentioned it's such a spectrum, right? Life, all of life is such a spectrum and yes, sitting down and folding your laundry while watching Real Housewives, that's a notch down from driving all around town and going to see clients in home or recording call after call or podcast interview after podcast interview, whatever your days are filled with. And so, we can certainly step it down a notch and that can still be restful. I think that what I would love to see more of is this conversation around what really, really feels good, and what do we emerge from feeling like a new person? That's what lights me up is talking about that with women.

Leah: I think that's so awesome, and I love your talking about cyclical living, and this is something that I've read a little bit about too and how it doesn't necessarily have to be just gender specific. Anybody who identifies as a woman or anybody, all living creatures have cycles and learning about your cycles, whether that be something that's on the woman's spectrum, like a 28-day menstrual cycle or an energetic cycle that you have that you might reset each day where you feel more energetic in the morning and more restful in the afternoon, and then you pick back up for an evening surge. That's cyclical as well. And I like the idea that it can really reach just anybody on any space that you can identify where these cycles show up for you and then tap into the energy of that cycle. I find that for myself in a day cycle, I know I'm super on it in the morning and I could tap into that. But then the afternoons like between two and five, I feel really ...I'm done. The day has got to end, please. And I know you and have talked about this before, but are there ways to honor that in my body, like this day, okay, I'm going to give myself an hour between two and five where I'm just going to mellow out a bit and let my brain rest a little while. So I like the idea that cycles are everywhere. That's something that I know you've talked about before and I've heard in different places. Like you said, it's like the cycles of the seasons and the cycles of the year. And Annie and I figured out a little bit with the podcast like you guys know. We close down over the summer as a way to provide us space or creativity and rest and focus on things so that we can come back super energetic and renewed in the fall with new ideas and energy. Annie and I have figured out ways to do that in our business too together. Those are just a couple of examples that I know about. What are some other thoughts on this idea of intentionally following some restful cycle?
Brandie: Yeah. And I love that you guys do that over the summer, and I love that you said that you come back feeling re-energized and more creative. You have new ideas. And that is absolutely what happens. That's why we go on vacation, but in our culture in the US, especially now in these kinds of - are we post COVID yet? We're not post COVID; we're still in COVID times. And I keep seeing articles come across about the work culture now, now that so many people are working from home. It's like there are no boundaries. If we aren't intentional about having boundaries and finishing our work day at this certain time, now you just step right over to your desk that's in your bedroom and you can be on all the time. I think all this was going on before COVID and things have just been magnified and amplified. I have also witnessed people, some people around me, including myself setting a lot more intentional boundaries around their time and their space and their energy. Because we've had this opportunity through the quarantine about a year ago that we experienced to just have this big pause in life and be like, Whoa, is this working for me? And so one of the huge benefits of intentionally carving out some rest and pause, some downtime is to be able to reflect and integrate what else has been going on in life. So not only is that good for our mental space and just feeling like, huh I can see a different perspective on things that are going on, but it's so good for our physiology because we actually are tapping into the parasympathetic nervous system instead of being in that sympathetic on, on, on fight, flight or freeze kind of all the time culture that we live in.

Annie: Yeah. I mean, I really have seen this in myself in a couple of different ways in the last year or so. I spent all winter working really hard on a big online course offering, which some of our listeners signed up for, and it was just a lot of work. And because of the circumstances, we weren't doing the traveling we usually do at the holidays. Family wasn't coming to see us. We have still been really isolated. And so my response, I don't actually choose to take that time off. I'll be like, yeah, well, I mean, I'll do a couple of follow-ups. I'll work this day. I won't actually take a day off and also because what is a day off when we're at home? We're still at home all day. My kids are still at home doing virtual school. So they have the day off of school. What has really changed? And so my default is let me just keep getting things done. And I ended up working every week from the beginning of September up until - let's see, we're recording this at the beginning of April - last week, I took almost an entire week off, but that was like months. I mean, I take weekends off. I'm actually pretty good about that. But Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday for six months or however many months that was - I can't even do math anymore. I work too much. And then I'm like, Oh right. I used to do this all the time. Every three months, I would take an entire week off from seeing clients and just hit the reset button and try to time it with holidays and travel and school breaks, and I've completely forgotten that I do that and I was so tired. Leah knows from talking to me right at the end of the launch window for the course and we were doing all these Lives and there were so many things happening and my voice was fried and I would talk to Leah. I'd be like, I can no longer think, and it was true. It was bad.

Leah: It's true.

Brandie: Yes. And so what I hear in that, Annie is that without having the regular rhythm or the rhythm that was happening before this crazy life we've all been living this past year, it's easy to just let it all blend together and to keep going to your default that you said is just like keep pushing, keep doing, keep knocking those things off your to-do list and we tend to do that in this culture. It's just push, push, push, and then you're going to crash and it's okay because you just crash, but there's just another way. Here's another way and it's a lot more fun. I mean, pushing and getting things done is fun too. I love the hustle and also have discovered the wisdom in allowing the flow and the rest. So Leah, you asked about what are some other ways. What comes to mind is two different cycles that I have looked to in my own life and also guide my clients to look to, and I say this knowing that for some this may sound really woo or maybe not fit with your framework, your ideological beliefs about how the world works, et cetera. But I'm going to say it anyway, go out on a limb. But you know, one is to follow the rhythm of the moon and that's something that over the last couple of years I've really so enjoyed and I've enjoyed doing it with my daughters too. We look at the moon and I love that they will be like, Mommy, there's the moon. Oh, it's up in the sky, and we talk about what phase the moon is in. And the reason why this matters for connecting with our own body cycles and how we set up our lives is that our bodies are 60% water, and we know that the tides are affected by the moon. And so it makes sense when we look down at the cellular level, that microscopic level, that our bodies that are more than half made up of water would have some kind of effect. And those of us that are nurses and have worked in acute care settings like in the ER or whatever will notice that things get crazy around the full moon time, and there's a reason for these midwives’ tales and babies tend to be born around the full moon so there are connections to draw. Whether you want to believe it or not is totally cool with me, but I found that following this concept of like, well, the moon goes through this cycle every month and so do our bodies. Could it be possible that there is a connection there that we just weren't introduced to? And there actually are. So the second cycle is our own body cycles. We go through a cycle every 28 to 32 days-ish, right? And sometimes our bodies are not cycling - when we're pregnant or when we're breastfeeding - and so that's when I found it beneficial to look to the moon and how the moon is cycling in order to kind of orient myself, my activities when I'm leaning into this cyclical living. So the four phases of the moon and the four phases of our bodies are actually synonymous, and for anyone who's interested, the phase of menstruation actually aligns with the phase of the new moon. When we're in the follicular phase, that can align with the waxing moon, and then ovulation aligns with full moon. It's like that sense of being fully on, fully in bloom and blossom, and then the luteal phase of our bodies is synonymous with the waning moon cycle. And then we start all over again. So, we don't always align. It's just important for everyone to know. I certainly don't always align. I have a longer menstrual cycle, and so I kind of tend to move through these two orbits and I can pick which one I want to align, but I've found that it's a really helpful tool to tune in and check in. Okay, where where's my body and my cycle, because don't we always ... I don’t know, this is the way I grew up. I always knew when I was going to bleed, make sure I have my stuff with me, you know what I mean? But there wasn't much awareness around the other phases and the wisdom that's there for us when we really learn to listen to our bodies on that level.

Leah: Absolutely. And what about somebody who maybe is not cycling with menstruation, are there other ways that they could look at? I mean, I guess the moon could help guide them on some of the different phases, but is there other ways to look at it if you aren't menstruating? is that something as well?

Brandie: Yeah, definitely look into the moon. And then also I think general self-awareness, really listening, checking in. How's my energy today or this week? What do I need? Asking those simple questions where we really listen instead of thinking, well, look into our to-do list or inbox as what orients us towards what we are going to do. And then we drink all the coffee or take the supplements or whatever to try to rise to the challenge when really what our bodies are saying is, hold on sister. You need to just rest here. And when you do, you will be able to get so much more accomplished. You will feel so much better doing it. Like yourself more, what you show up in the world and in your family. At least this is what I've been learning.

Annie: I've definitely noticed that in my own energy. And even recently, when I was getting ready to take the spring break and things were kind of coming to an end with the course and the Lives and all of that, and I remember just waking up and not feeling that sense of okay, this is what I'm going to do today. I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that. And saying to my husband, I just feel a sense of purposelessness and I just want to sort of shamble about my house. And then I was like, Oh, wait. That means I'm in low energy, but that means that soon my energy will come back up so don't worry about it. This is not now suddenly I'm a person that doesn't know how to get things done. It's more like, no, things come in cycles and now I'm at the bottom of the cycle, which means I'm going to come back up and sure enough, this week, I'm all over the place and knocking things out and feeling that same kind of energy again. I learned about this stuff too late for it to apply to me cause I'm like, what even is a cycle anymore? It could be 12 days. It could be 56 days. I don't even know. And then apparently, I'm told it could be like this for years, so super fun. But I can still pay attention to my energy. I can see the moon when it's full from my front window. I can't see it the rest of the time because I live in the city so I don't have that connection the way I wish I did, but at least I can listen to my body and what my body is telling me and not feel like if my body's telling me to quiet down, that I should fight that.

Brandie: Yes. Oh man. Yeah. So it's like, listen and respond versus ignore, deny, push. Right? And we've all done it. It's so easy to do that. There's a Starbucks in every corner; just keep fueling up and just keep going, you know? And there's a time for that. I don't know, I just love the saying of ... I think it's biblical actually that there's a season for everything. There's a time for everything. And when we really trust that, and that's what I hear and what you just shared, Annie, that you can start to see that there is a cycle. I am okay to rest. It doesn't mean that I will be lazy for the rest of my life, and you know, that awareness of the cycles has helped me to feel much more grace towards myself. Like, Oh, I don't have to get it all done now, because guess what? Next month, there's going to be another cycle where I'm really aligned with these activities and it really flows so much easier because I'm aligned at that time. That makes sense?

Leah: Definitely. And one thing I want to say in response to that, Annie. One, I'm literally going to write myself a note, like a reminder, when I'm down, you're going to come back up Don't forget. It is helpful to have that reminder. I love that. And when I have paid more attention to my energies, I know that there are a couple of days in my cyclical life that I am just so on fire that I could take down the whole universe, every to-do list, all the things. And I'll sometimes look back and be like, oh my gosh, I was like a beast today. You know, I just got it all done. And so, one of the things that I have been doing is on my other days where I'm getting into this head space of, I didn't get anything done and I'm dropping the ball on all these projects, I start to write down the things that I'm dropping the ball on. I didn't do this; I didn't do that. I had all the energy in the world. I would've cleaned out this thing or finally emptied my email inbox or whatever it is. And keeping this little list of these big things that I'm not feeling great that I haven't accomplished or whatever, and then that list can be in front of me on those days where I'm taking down the world and doing all the things. And maybe I can knock some of that out and not make it feel like, Oh, I'm never going to get that done. But like, Oh, I could save it for the days where I'm ready to do the things. I do that with videos too that I'm making for my business. I wait until there's times where I'm feeling on fire because I feel like my energy on video shows up so much better when it is on those days. So it is very spur of the moment, but I have a list of videos that I want to make. So then when I'm like, Ooh, I got off this consult and I'm just on fire and I'm loving everything about everything and then I do a video at that time. I'm like, Oh, the energy is so much different than I have to do another video. Okay. How you do the thing? Right. Whatever. So I have found that to be a super way to honor, but also know that there's going to be things I want to get done at those times to honor my rest.

Brandie: Absolutely. Leah, I am doing a happy dance over here because that is incredible progress, and definitely worth celebrating from my perspective. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot more flow when we are in tune with the cycles, with our own energy. And again whether you look to the moon or not, whether you look to your own body cycle, there is a way to tune in and for men to do this as well. I think one of the things I've learned is that men cycle on about a 24-hour cycle and women, we cycle usually the 28 to 32- ish days cycle. Most of our world is oriented around masculine energy, and so this is a really powerful way for us to kind of reclaim a more sustainable way of doing life when we can recognize that, Hey, we're different and that's a beautiful thing. And when we honor that, I think what it comes down to is that we show up in the world feeling better and therefore making more of the impact that we seek to make anyway. I love future is feminine, but not if we're all tired and worn down and exhausted from trying to do it all the time. So if we really do want to live in to some of these things that we want to see looking different in our world, I really do believe that cyclical living is a powerful way to do that, specifically resting, incorporating that.

Annie: I love it. That's so great. And I think this is going to be an episode I'm going to have to go back and listen to again, just to pull out all the great things that you said to think about, because I'm not often self-reflective enough to really notice this stuff, but whenever I do it really makes the difference. And so if you enjoyed our podcast interview with Brandie and want to check out the recording of the Deeper Dive she did with us last year, you can go to learn.anniefrisbie.com/lactationbusinesscoaching and you'll see you can register our next live Deeper Dive next month with Tiara Caldwell and that's on May 12th. She's going to talk with us about her private practice and answer questions. You can also purchase access to our Vault of recordings. Goes all the way back to January 2020 is when we started these Deeper Dives so there's a ton in there. Every time we do a Deeper Dive, we record it, and it goes in the Vault. And if you're interested in saving money with a recurring membership to our lives and recordings, you can go to learn.anniefrisbie.com/lactationbusinesscoaching. So, thank you so much, Brandie. We hope to have you on again and just continue to learn from you because it's always so great.

Brandie: Absolutely. Thank you.

Leah: Thank you so much, Brandie. Thanks for listening to learn more about our monthly deeper dives and how to support our podcast for as little as $1 a month, visit lactationbusinesscoaching.com. Don't forget to leave us a rating and hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode.