EP61 | Reflections on 10 Years as an IBCLC

Leah: Hey, there Annie.

Annie: Hey there, Leah, how's it going?

Leah: Going really well. I am excited for our talk today because we're doing some reflection. That's always nice to take a minute to look back and see really how far we've come.

Annie: Yeah, the reason we're reflecting is because both of us took the IBLCE exam earlier this spring because it's 10 years since we each became IBCLCs.

Leah: Yes, I know. It just was so interesting to study again and to think about where my brain was, where I’m like, what's going to happen, all of that, where that was 10 years ago to where it was now. I was in such a different place but with just a different kind of excitement. Then this time, it was, well, one knowing that I never have to take this test again by choice. I could take it I guess if I wanted to, but by choice, I have a choice now I don't have to take this test again. But also I had no idea what was going to come at the time, I wasn't really sure what was going to come of becoming a lactation consultant. Now got to study in a way of like, oh my gosh, all this knowledge and everything that I've learned and what I've been able to apply it to. It just had such a different meaning. It was really interesting. What was your feel with studying and preparing this time versus the first time?

Annie: I was legit terrified when I was taking it the first time. First of all, I was really busy with my private practice, actually seeing clients and like, when am I going to study. I have to write care plans. I just didn't plan it well and so then I felt like I was cramming. I was at my daughter's softball game, watching the game, but then listening to audio versions of one of the trainings that I had signed up for. I was like, this is not how I want to live my life. This is not at all aligned with how I try to have like, not do work stuff when I'm actually watching my kid do something. Although it was softball, there was a lot of time where my kid was not doing anything. It was okay. There's a lot of downtown in softball. I did plenty of standing up and cheering. It was funny for me studying to see how many things I couldn't remember that I know that I had remembered. Then how many things were I'm like oh yeah, I do totally still have that somewhere in the recesses of my memory. I don't use it, but I actually still know it. That was kind of wild. I did feel like my 10 year previous self was kind of sitting next to me while I was studying because I just had these moments of, I don't know what you would call it, not deja vu because I actually did do it before but really feeling connected with that person that I was 10 years ago.

Leah: It was really interesting exercise of, I broke out my note cards, so my business partner and I before we started our company together, we had studied together. We had made mountains and mountains, I guess I should say cases and cases because we had the little boxes that you put note cards in. We had made so many note cards and they have been in a box in the back of my closet for the last 10 years so I broke out the note cards. It was just such a moment of just reflection on how far I've come and just how much has happened that I never could have expected or planned for. Like how my business grew, how it's evolved. It was just kind of fun to sit with the person I was 10 years ago looking at these note cards because they hadn't been touched since. So it seemed like this relic, you know, I got to sit with my little relic of my former self and where we were and how dedicated we were to make sure we pass this test. We spent so much time working on all of those note cards. It was such an interesting time just like you, I just felt this very maybe nostalgic or I don't know. I don't know the right terminology for it either to just be kind of, wow, how much has changed, but also I still feel really connected to that person that started down this path and was so open to whatever comes of this, comes of this. It was helpful to embrace that again of when things are evolving there's uncertainty and all of that and it was fun to go back and be like, look, you didn't know what was gonna happen. Look at all that has happened in 10 years! You've come so far and you've used all this amazing knowledge and grown more knowledge. The other thing that was really interesting was, at the time, obviously, when we weren't practicing as IBCLCs, the knowledge was just knowledge. Then now it felt very, oh, this is applicable to this, this is applicable to that. This is something that I've used. This information helped me understand this. This information helped me apply this technique or whatever. It was a lot more pulling together of those treacherous facts that you're just like, do I really need to know this? Does this really need to live in my head? Then you're like, well, it does help you connect those dots and apply that technique and stuff like that. So that was really cool to see that as well. From a business aspect, though, Annie, what are your thoughts about reflecting on being a business owner for all this time? I know you have done business in other ways too and so if I but as a lactation private practice business owner for 10 years, tell me about that for you. What's your thoughts on that?

Annie: It has been interesting, looking back and seeing that my goals when I first became a lactation consultant were really, they were almost super broad, so broad as to basically not be even really goals at all. It was more like I really needed to make a change in my professional life because what I was doing before wasn't working anymore and wasn't a path I wanted to continue to go down. That was working, you know, trying to push ahead as a screenwriter and to follow those Hollywood dreams. Those Hollywood dreams ended up not being satisfying to me, not being where I wanted my energy to go. I was thinking mostly about what could I do that would be a, I always like a challenge, number one, so the fact that I could take some classes, do some trainings, get some hands-on trainings and take a test that would tell me if I made it and have letters I could put after my name. For sure, sign me up. I always really do like to try new things and expand myself. It was also more like, what could I do in this moment, in this stage of my life, in this place where I'm at, and I wasn't really thinking about it beyond that. I think, possibly in my mind, I just was so much in the now of having new babies and having things going on in our family life that needed attention more than my work did. Also feeling like, I just don't know, the thought of figuring out any kind of five year plan, let alone a 10 or 20 year plan just seemed really big to me. So I'm like, I can do this right now. I can absolutely, this is something I can make happen right now. If I do it well enough, it will keep me from having to go and find some kind of corporate job where I'll be gone 60 hours a week and never see my kids again. That was sort of where my head was at. Then reflecting on where it's gone is that I've turned it into a full-time job. I kind of made myself the dream job that I didn't want to have if somebody else was giving it to me. I've been able to get rid of all of the random freelancing things that I was doing to supplement my lactation work. When I was first getting started. I wasn't just doing private practice home visits I was also doing copywriting and I was doing script analysis and I was doing consulting all this random. I even wrote a second screenplay for Hallmark that got made while I was also really putting into my lactation career. Then that kind of ended there. That was my last goodbye to Hollywood was that one. I was writing movie reviews. So what I've been able to do is build my private practice so that I could say no to those things where I was like I don't want to be a movie critic. 20 year old Annie totally wanted to be a movie critic. Then I'm like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to watch movies and write about them. I want to watch movies and that's it, full stop. I had a book blog. I decided I was like, I don't need to keep my book blog anymore because I'm not trying to be this critic or this literary person or whatever it is that I was trying to do with my book blog. So being able to really, I guess what I've seen is that over 10 years, I went from lactation being a part of all of the different things I was doing to make money and to support my family and have a balanced life into being the thing that I'm doing. Then not just doing for private practice, but I've just loved the conference stuff that I've been doing in the last couple of years, and the writing and the speaking, but putting together speakers and conferences, and it's just, I feel very happy. I do feel the work that I'm doing now, putting on conferences, like Clinical Complexities in Private Practice that just ended.

Leah: Which is amazing.

Annie: It was so fun, you can still buy all of the individual topics, but you just can't get the whole bundle anymore. That brought everything together. I'm like, I'm writing, I'm producing, I'm coordinating, I'm creating content, and I'm working with amazing people about topics that I'm really deeply, deeply passionate about. I couldn't be happier, honestly, in terms of where things have gone but this was not my plan.

Leah: Isn't it so interesting, like you could have never cultivated this in that moment 10 years ago. It had to get a life of its own and evolve and change. That's really awesome. You have pulled in so many wonderful skills that you have beyond just being a lactation consultant. All these other skills, like you said, producing and copywriting and all these skills, and been able to work it into the field of lactation, which I think is just such a gift to the profession itself. We need that and that you put on these conferences and everything, I just think it's super, super, super cool.

Annie: What are your reflections over 10 years in private practice? I know that you started out with an intentional plan. You were very focused on what you were doing. You're kind of like the opposite of me. Tell me about your plans and then how they evolved?

Leah: I think I've talked about this before, when my business partner and I finished studying, we were like, okay, we've really enjoyed meeting all this time, like let's start a business together. We were serious about it. We had a business plan. We've got all of our ducks in a row, so to speak. We even started promoting our business before we were like, we're not going to start until we get our test results so we were just hoping on hope that we passed. But we're like we're opening November 1st was going to be our first day that we were gonna see clients and we literally had clients on November 1st. It was crazy because we got our test results on 10/28. 10/28 was test result day. Then we started seeing clients on November 1st. So we were very, like, hey, we're going to start this business together. But I didn't have any idea about the explosive growth that we would have. Our market just, at the time, was ready for more lactation support because there were several consultants that had been doing it but we're moving out of the space or retiring. So it was just really ripe for growth. It was so crazy. I mean, we were just blown away. I mean, from day one, we were just so busy. That was also really hard because I had been home with my kiddos really doing work that I could do at home with them. I was a business-to-business sales rep for several children's brands. I was just doing calls and phone sales, stuff like that, but nothing that I had to be away away a lot of the time. That was perfect for that time of my life. It was really almost kind of scary, because I had never experienced being gone that much and had not really intended on being a full time lactation consultant. Everybody talked about, like, it takes time your business has to build. The only book that we could get our hands on at the time about lactation consultant private practice did make it sound like, don't worry like it's not going to come very quickly, you have to really cultivate. It's gonna take a long time. So it grew really fast and that was a big learning curve. We had to really learn so much so quickly and changed a lot of things in our families and that kind of thing. It was a really, really interesting time but I don't think that I would do it any differently because I think I really found what I needed to. I had no career aspirations other than I knew I was pretty good at sales. I was like, oh, I'm doing this, but I was like I don't know where I'm going and I'm a mom and I'm just kind of doing the mom thing was my main thing. It really gave me a place to be me and this is Leah and Leah's a lactation consultant and a mom. I so appreciate that, how it grew I think is the only way that I would have come to figure that out. If it had grown really slowly, I think it would have still felt kind of like a side gig and kind of did it on the side. But because of that, I really got to discover a side of myself that didn't know I had in there and that I could be this business owner. Then I really took hold of that I was like, hey, I'm a business owner, I'm gonna grow this thing. I'm gonna make it all that I want to be and it could be whatever I want it to be. I really set out to diversify what I was doing and that was really fun. Probably the thing I like most about my work now and how when I'm in reflection, I'm like, the thing I really, really love is that I have all this diversity. I work in a pediatric clinic. I get to do home visits. I work in a dentist's office. I work in a birth center and I do corporate lactation. To have all those different facets to just use my skills in so many different ways, I just am so grateful. Again, it's like in the reflection, I don't know that I would ever do anything different. I was thinking through that as we were preparing for this. I'm like, is there anything that I'd be like I wish I had XYZ. Other than like, switching to electronic charting faster, I so wish I had done that. I dragged my heels on that. I was like no paper is life. I was holding on. The one thing that I would say is I'm still dealing with those dang paper charts that live in my house in a giant filing cabinet that drives me bonkers. But other than that, I have nothing that I'm like, I'm I wish I had done this differently. I think it's just really, I'm so glad we did this talk today because I'm like, it's really fun to look back and take a moment and see, what did I learn? How did I grow? How did we change over these 10 years? And to think it's 10 Stinking years. I mean, 10 years is a long time. When I started, I had a two year old that I was nursing. I remember going to a conference, it was the last conference, he was he stopped nursing after that, you know, and it's so poignant in my life. I remember sitting in that conference and trying to debate do I remove the milk or not. He was three and a half. So I'm like, I could probably just leave it and see what happens when I get back home. it's kind of funny to see how it's all evolved. It's interesting things to reflect on, right Annie? It's so interesting to think about it all.

Annie: If I would change anything, I do feel like I wish that I had had more confidence in myself as a business owner in the beginning and take in that side of things more seriously than I did. I also wish that I had retired from volunteer work as a La Leche leader years earlier than I actually did. One of the reasons I didn't do it is because I remember when I was getting my hours as a La Leche leader, and hearing this kind of buzz at area conferences or at leader retreats where they were like there's some people that just become leaders so they can become IBCLCs and being like, well, I have to prove to them that I'm not one of those. You know what I'm like, I wish that I didn't feel like I had to prove something to them. I wish I'd recognize that the only person I needed to prove something to was myself and that I did become a La Leche leader to become an IBCLC and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I gave more to La Leche League in those early years than I gave to my private practice. In retrospect, my energy was unbalanced in the wrong way because of my sense of obligation and duty and wanting to honor that relationship and honor what I was able to get from La Leche League long after it was still even a group that I even believed in anymore. I guess the only thing I would change is I would tell Annie of 10 years ago, you can let this go because this is not where your heart is. This is not where your passion is and everything is going to be okay if you retire.

Leah: Yeah. I know that is such hard. We even did a whole episode on that transition. That is a definitely a hard transition. I mean, I think it's kind of fun to think through. I like to think back, and then forward in the sense of the lessons that I'm going to take forward with me and I really feel the confidence piece is huge. I spent so many years thinking, I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know. It wasn't until somebody was like, wow, Leah look at all you've built. I was like, huh, I guess I kind of know what I'm doing or at least I've had some really good luck or something. I don't know but it was like oh, wow, I can take that confidence forward and and then the openness to continue. I think we've mentioned this before, I've always been open to learning more and I really appreciate that about my 10 year journey is that I've never stopped and been like I'm a really good lactation consultant, I don't need to know anything else. I'm actually feel like I have a fourth of the knowledge that's out there and I want the other three fourths in my brain at some point when it will fit. I keep cramming it in there but sometimes it's like, it won't go. I want to take that forward for the rest of my journey to never feel like I've done it all, I know it all. To know that there's just a never ending amount of information, not just from the textbooks and conferences, but also from every baby and family interaction that I have. There's something to learn in that moment. I try to stay really open to that, like what am I going to take away from this, not just give to this family. There's always something I can learn. It can be super simple things about how I want to explain something and then grasping it, and like, hey, I got that great feedback. Also big things about things I need to shift in me and continue to grow as a person so I can give from the right place. I think there's a lot to keep taking these lessons that we've figured out and keep carrying them forward for us and keep evolving. Super cool. So I would make a call to action for everybody to no matter where you are in your business, whether you've had the business for six months or five years or maybe you're somebody who's been in business way longer than Annie and I and have so much wisdom. But take a moment, as we wrap up, to think through where you're at and your business and what you've learned and how you want to keep growing and learning and these reflection times are super important as we continue to evolve.

Annie: You don't need a reason to reflect.

Leah: It doesn't have to be a milestone.

Annie: It does not have to be a milestone. I think about just to build on what Leah said, and where I'm at as I think about winding down the year and I'm in that reflective status is that I hear myself on consults, virtual consults, or during home visits, and I hear the way I'm able to talk to families and the assurance that I have just that those things where I'm like, I do feel really comfortable working with families. I had a recognition recently I'm like, oh yeah, this is the danger point is because this is where you start to say, I know what I know and I'm good at what I do. There are things that I'm saying now that are not as right as they could be as I've come to discover. I think if anything like 10 years is a moment to just go deeper into that humility that we need to have to let babies be our teachers and parents be our teachers and our colleagues be our teachers and our experience be a teacher and not rest on the things that we know we're good at so that's your deep thought for going into the end of the year.

Leah: I love it. I love it so much. It always makes me feel so like, I have so many wonderful things to think through when we get off these talks. I love it so much.

Annie: I do too.

Leah: Yeah, for another year.

Annie: Well, we are looking forward to some quiet time over the holiday break and then coming back in January with some new episodes and a deeper dive that might end up with a shorter name but for right now the working title is I am so done with this pandemic but this pandemic is not done with my private practice. So that will be in January. You can learn more about our deeper dives at lactationbusinesscoaching.com and it is always a pleasure, Leah.

Leah: Yes, always. Look forward to talking again soon. Bye.